JEALOUSY IN RELATIONSHIPS

A little jealousy doesn't hurt anyone in a relationship. It actually shows that someone cares and is afraid to lose you....

....but then when it becomes an obsession, or something that makes you feel insecure, then we have to pull out the red flag!

According to Wiki;

Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern, and anxiety over an anticipated loss or status of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection.

Just because you and your special someone are together doesn't mean he or she has to cut all ties with all friends of the opposite sex. For a healthy relationship to exist, you both need a reasonable amount of space away from each other...and there's nothing wrong with hanging out with other friends too (yes, even of the opposite sex) although, clear boundaries have to be set so as not to upset each other.  This is where TRUST comes into play.

You have to realize that this person was an independent individual before you two started dating so you both still need to maintain a certain amount of of individuality by letting him or her do his or her own thing.

Being too clingy all the time can become a bit irritating after a while. What you don't realize is that, by doing this, you're not drawing the person any closer. You're pushing them away.

Sometimes, even when there's no need to be jealous...we go searching for these reasons ourselves by going through our special someones' phones, inbox, call logs, social media chat history and what not...

I won't lie, the urge to do this is always there and all of us have been guilty of this at some point in our different relationships. Most times we do this to re-assure ourselves of the fact that our partner is being faithful and to know how true they are to us....but on the other hand, we may find something that's actually not there (this happens most of the time) and then we start making terrible assumptions and trust me, all these things contribute to breaking a relationship!

You are also hurting your loved one with this unwanted feeling because jealousy can affect your relationship in a negative way, especially if the perceived threat is not genuine and your partner is not doing anything to cause the jealousy.

Even the most devoted partner can feel hurt, exhausted, anxious and angry that they're not trusted. Ultimately, it drains them emotionally.

OVERCOMING JEALOUSY

•  You've got to trust your partner. Trust the love that they have for you...(and if you don't trust them, then ask yourself why you're in a relationship with someone that you don't trust) It's lack of trust that brings room for suspicion and that's when jealousy shows it's ugly head.
• Build your self-confidence. Sometimes, jealousy is driven by low self esteem...sometimes you might feel like they're too good for you or that you're not attractive enough. Love yourself and hold on to the fact that your partner loves you too and wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose.
• Get busy: Sometimes, the cause of all the suspicion is idleness...you just start thinking..."oh where is she/he now? what's he/she doing? who is he/she with?" Jeez, give yourself a break and do other things. Should your world revolve around one person alone? That's exhausting!
• If there's a genuine reason to be suspicious, gently talk to your partner and tell them about your concerns. Don't be hostile about this...remember, it's only a suspicion and he/she is innocent until proven guilty.
• Stop it with the constant monitoring...It's not right to police your partner. Give them some space. Leave their call logs, chats and inbox alone (this can be hard...lol). I know the temptation is always there to just check...You're not a detective so just drop it with the act!

When you have a reasonable suspicion, if you trust them, the best way is just to talk to them.

On the other hand...

If you are on the receiving end, you have a jealous partner, they're always suspecting your every move...I'm sure you don't feel too good about this! 

I'll advice that you talk to them about this, tell them how this makes you feel and reassure them of the fact that you love them and wouldn't hurt them.

Also, try to evaluate your own lifestyle and try to check some of the things that you might be doing that might stir up this feeling in your partner. These may include; "harmless flirting", secretly taking calls, making an attempt to keep your phone away from them (this makes you look guilty and indirectly tells them that there's something on it that you're hiding).....then some people also do things to "see" if their partner will actually get jealous. Stop it with the mind games. If someone loves you, they just do so stop trying to put them to any form of "test" You might just create a problem that wasn't there in the first place.

Live and Let Live....

Hope this helps...Stay tuned!