LOVE IS NOT A CHOICE

Falling in love with someone is usually not a conscious decision like what most people think...

Science suggest that love is all biochemistry, and we have no choice in it. Sometimes the pull is so strong that we stay in relationships that are unhealthy, and even though we know it, we can't seem to make ourselves leave. This is why we may choose to stick it out with a partner who is not all that nice to us. He or she could lie, cheat, or steal from us, and somehow or another, we will once again open our hearts, perhaps only to get hurt again. It seems like we are living that old saying, "The devil you know is better than the one you don't."

 Love can direct us to make decisions that we know are not right. At certain stages in our lives, if our parents or friends tell us that he or she isn't the right person for us, we simply ignore the unwanted advice and let love take over. It isn't usually a horrible decision, but its hard not to have regrets when it dawns on you eventually that they were right about them.

While there may be some scientific evidence that backs up the saying that you can’t choose who you love, these are also some real life examples that solidify this.

1. We have all fallen in love with someone terrible for us

This is because you didn’t choose to love them. If love was truly all choice, you wouldn’t choose to love someone who treated you like last week’s garbage. You can’t help loving someone who hurt you.

2. We have loved more than one person in our lives

If you chose who to love, you wouldn’t love so many different people in your life.

3. We have all fallen for someone who’s not our ‘type’ and we don’t make sense with together

"Type" meaning someone who is so outrageously different from anyone we’ve ever been with before or anyone we ever envisioned that we would be with.

 If love was truly a choice, you would choose someone whose characteristics and lifestyles made sense with yours.

We may feel that we haven't got a choice, but that doesn't mean that we should remain in unhealthy relationships simply because we love them. You can make a conscious effort to decide on what you can and can't take from a relationship. 

There are times when you can't really trust your emotions. Reality has to take its rightful place when you are considering whether to continue a potentially abusive relationship. You should think twice, recall your past with this person, and consider either moving on or sorting things out if you think that any part of your relationship is unhealthy.

Look deeply into yourself, your relationship, and your loved one's eyes and truly see where the two of you are as a couple. Together you can make choices that will make both of your lives better....

Love is not what the mind thinks...but what the heart wants...

Reference(s):youqueen.com
                     psychologytoday.com