Saturday, 14 May 2016


Many people go into relationships with people that are not their ideal partner...

Just because you want a relationship doesn't mean you should settle for less than you deserve. People do this for so  many reasons;

  • Loneliness
  • Fear of being alone
  • Everyone around you is in a "happy" relationship
  • Outside pressure
  • Some  people with self esteem issues just feel they don't deserve anything good so they start feeling lucky and overwhelmed once someone starts to give them the time of day...
  • Comfort: Some people settle once they feel they are comfortable where they are. Need I remind you that life begins outside your comfort zone?
  • Age
  • So many others..
You know you're settling for LESS when...

  • You feel you have to change yourself ,your values, goals, or dreams for your partner to accept you.
  • You are in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship. 
  • The relationship brings you down and your partner doesn't inspire you to do your best.
  • You've been cheated on repeatedly and keep giving him or her more chances despite that he or she has proven to be untrustworthy.
  • You sacrifice too much- In cases where you feel you're lucky to even have them, you tend to do a lot  just to keep them.
  • You're trying to convince yourself that he or she is what you want.
  • You're convincing yourself that you're not settling.
Now this is why you should not settle;

  • Settling is a choice made from fear. You should not allow your fears to rule you. Your fears can be your biggest lesson or your biggest conflict. Make your pick!
  • When the novelty of it all wears're stuck with each other. You wouldn't want that, now would you?
  • Future regret...when you've gone too far and there's no going back.
  • You deserve More!!!!
Settling for someone just for the sake of being in a relationship won't make you happy. Taking time to find or wait for the one you truly deserve will...
What a sad thought it is that some of us will surrender and settle for less, long before we have met the one who is truly for us.
Don't settle for anybody...just so you can have somebody.

I would love to hear from my audience, so please feel free to share your views, questions and contributions in the comment section or message me at
I'd reply right back! Thanks


  1. Hi sylvia, your platform is great. I like this post cos this happens a lot. some ppl dont even know when they are settling.
    I was in a relationship two years ago. Before i got into it i was so desperate to meet a guy, to be like those cute couples, to have what i saw in the movies. then this guy came along...he had good looks and seemed okay in the beginning. i was so happy that at least i met someone that started convincing myself that he was the one and that was in love. of course i knew this wasnt cut a long story short, we dated and it didn't end well because he drained me emotionally.( I think he knew that somehow i needed him to fill the void i created for myself) I had to end things before i lost myself in a loveless relatonship. My question do we overcome this feeling of loneliness that often leads to desperation? Thanks

    1. Hi Anonymous, thanks for your feedback. I agree with you that you created a void that wasn't there in the first place simply because you were longing for a fairytale...don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that. Just don't let that yearning drive you into the arms of the wrong person, which is what happened in your case. I'm glad you've learnt from this. Regarding your question on loneliness, I think the best thing you can do is to not dwell on it...the fact that you feel lonely and try to engage yourself in other activities. Free yourself from negative thoughts and focus on other good stuff you have in your life. The right one will come along soon.
      Take care.

  2. Wow. This is 100% true, it is really fear that drives people to settle for less and also jealousy from mostly the fake lives they see on instagram, some are real o but some are fake as well.
    I have always known that waiting for the right person would always be worth it, waiting for your missing rib the one God has prepared for you is the best.
    Some people may feel lonely and all but you cannot be with someone because you are lonely, that would even make u so much dependant and clingy to the person which in turn would not be good for you. So while you are waiting for "the one" i feel we should all work on ourselves, try to end our weaknesses and improve our strenghts so that when the person comes we would be a blessing and have so much to offer them rather than a broken heart from messing about with the wrong people

    1. Thank you so much for your feedback. That's a very lovely contribution.

  3. Nice post @sylvia,bt as we know 'the heart' is one messed up organ. Men hv two masters and one of dem is fear. The fear of loosing sumone u luv is one of d greatest fears pipo who fall in luv face, fear is wat leads to jealousy and over protection bt d question is 'what if she goes?'. Believe me when I say u hv bin living before u met dat person. If life can take sumone u neva thought of loosing, it will replace it with sumone u neva thought of having.. Have a nice day guys

    1. Thanks for your feedback, I don't think its healthy for you to have fear of loosing someone that is indifferent towards loosing you. Love is a two way thing and for it to work, the two people have to love and cherish each other.It shouldn't be one sided. Take care.


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